Are you thinking of joining or even running a comedy course?


Are you a mediocre comic? Have you failed for years to get booked by any of the major clubs?

Do you emcee badly at a few free entry nights?

Perhaps you emcee your own night, let’s face it, nobody else will book you.

Is your name constantly on the available tonight list?

Are you incredibly thick skinned, deluded and full of your own self-importance?

Have you done between 2 and 10 open spots?

Do you have obvious mental health issues?

Do not despair. I’ve got your back. You have all the qualifications required.

SO WHY NOT RUN COMEDY COURSES?

It’s so easy. All you need is a shitty room in a pub somewhere.

Some sort of portable PA. You can use that old one the kids had for karaoke

Or just get one on Amazon for £30.

A spot light. Preferable but not essential. You could use the torch on your phone.

A stage. Just a piece of wood on two milk crates will do.

Again, preferable but not essential.

A Facebook page with a picture of you holding a microphone.

A few made up reviews.

This course changed my life. Barry Bottom.

I did this course last week and now I’m head of TV comedy in Zimbabwe. Fadziso Falafel.

This course was so good I am now the funniest plumber in Penge and I’m undergoing gender reassignment surgery. I have never been happier.  Susan Smith.

Advertise it on Facebook. Remember to use words like, smashing destroying or killing.

E.g., Sign up now and learn how to smash/destroy any room in just two 40 minutes sessions. Only £500. No concessions. Tickets selling fast just 45 places left.

That’s it. You are good to go.

Now all you have to do is turn up and show off.

Strut about a bit. Quote a few professional comic’s jokes. Not yours obviously. Chuck in a few words and phrases like, finding your voice, owning the space, structure or timing. Timing is always a good one.

Don’t worry, you won’t get caught out. Let’s face it, the people you are teaching don’t know shit about stand-up comedy. That’s why they have chosen your course.

Enjoy.

PS If you run a course at a professional venue like The Comedy Store, taught by a professional stand up who headlines all over the country then I’m fine with that.

If not, then punters beware.

Do some research.